The purpose of this blog is to show how faith, my professional training and a healthy sense of humor taught me and continues to teach me that Jesus Christ is always in control. I am a fellow learner as this journey for my child unfolds. My wish is that Ben's legacy gives others hope where there seems to be none. It is also my desire that the information I have assimilated with my medical mind and filtered through a mother's heart gives practical ways to deal with this ever-changing chronic disease. Finally, for the many friends and family members who continue to follow Ben's life change after the injury, the story continues.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Jim visited Ben in Colorado last weekend. He is still living in a beautiful Colorado suburb, attends church and like all of us, has daily victories and struggles. Ben has started guitar lessons. I am excited that he is eager to learn something new. He is practicing "Happy Birthday" to play for his dad's birthday next month. Ben has also developed an interest in cooking for the other residents of his house. It is a blessing for Ben to move toward any new goal, no matter how small.

Ben is 3 years out from the accident. It is a time when recovery is less likely to be dramatic. Ben has days of frustration because he wants to come home, to work, to go back to school. These goals right now are impossible. Ben has severe memory problems. He struggles with emotions, social appropriateness and cannot process steps toward a goal. I want him to read, learn, write, and exercise. I want him to stretch his mind to new accomplishment. It would increase the chances of undamaged parts of his brain to take over for the parts with damage. It would move him closer to where he wants to be in life. Praying for Ben to see what he needs to see and do what he needs to do. There have been so many miracles leading up to this point in our journey. Ben has joy and a relationship with God. His recovery, even with the struggles,  is beyond our wildest dreams. He is living in an amazing place with amazing people. God has been faithful in providing everything needed for the journey. For now, however, we are in a season of waiting. Is this all that is in store for Ben's life?. Waiting is hard, especially for someone who is a type "A"personality. That would be me! I believe God is teaching me again about waiting and faith.

Strife came up unexpectedly in the life of Mary, Martha, and their brother Lazarus. Scripture tells us that this family enjoyed a special relationship with Jesus. The sisters sent a message to Jesus when Lazarus became ill. John 11:3 says that the word that the sister's sent stated "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." Jesus knew that Lazarus was to die. Why did he wait to answer ? Why did he delay 2 days to come? Jesus knew that his death and resurrection was imminent. To withstand what what was to come Jesus was about to greatly strengthen the faith of this family and his disciples. There would be no doubt that only the Son of God could do what He was about to do. Lazarus walked out of the tomb. He had been dead for 4 days. Jewish funeral customs were in full force. Professional mourners were wailing. The sisters were grieving. They had no hope that they would see Lazarus again in this world, only in the " resurrection on the last day." Earthly death after four days was final, wasn't it?

Did Mary and Martha get the exact answer to their prayer? No they got something above and beyond their wildest dreams. Something impossible. If Jesus can raise the dead then Jesus is who He says He is. Why did Jesus delay? Did he not love this family? Why did he allow them to suffer?  No, he loved deeply enough to give them a gift beyond measure. Life for Lazarus in the face of hopelessness gave faith beyond measure. Jesus's gift to Mary, Martha, Lazarus, the disciples and to us is priceless. 

I believe that I was drawn to the story of Lazarus because it shows what God can do in the face of apparent hopelessness.  In this new season of waiting,  Jim and I are grateful beyond measure for God's healing and provision for our son. I send up prayers daily asking for immediate healing for Ben. I believe that God's plan for him has to be better than my plan. I have no doubts at all that we can count on God to come through. It will be good!