Benjamin has been back in Colorado since mid September. Two weeks ago Benjamin and I had a great weekend together. We went to a movie. Ben enjoyed Jumangi, a Starbucks coffee and dinner out. Sunday was spent attending church and going to brunch. He was joyful and engaging and loves talking to everyone he meets. Ben notices people's smiles and gives complements right and left. Jimmy at Chick-Fil-A was doing a good job and Ben told him so. Sometimes it's exhausting, but when I get frustrated with his enthusiasm, I take a step back and watch the effect Ben has on others. People are happy to step into Ben's world and share a conversation. He is open with sharing truth about his motorcycle accident. He tells them that God saved him for aeason. I believe that is true.

There are many things to be thankful for in Ben’s current situation. To give a few details, I want to discuss 4 aspects of Ben's current condition: memory, mood, cognitive function, and physical deficits.

Since Benjamin's seizures in July of 2016, his short term memory has been profoundly affected.  One thing I have learned from my professional mentors knowledgeable in brain injury, is that TBI  evolves over time. Months or even years can go by before the final impact of an injury may be known. Ben cannot remember anything he has been told. He will ask questions over and over again with no recollection of any of the information. He cannot remember anything about the multiple hospitalizations in the last 2 years. He does not know how long he has been in Colorado. He does not remember what he has been told 30 second after his question has been answered. He says the same things over and over again. Long term memory is less severely affected.He remembers friends, family and many things about his life before the motorcycle accident. The memories are by no means complete, however, with huge gaps. Every aspect of Ben's day to day life is adversely affected by these deficits.

Benjamin's tendency toward difficult behaviors and aggression is stable right now. This is a blessing, but requires the most potent psychiatric medications available. Medications that were not necessary prior to the seizures. One medication is considered so potentially dangerous that Ben received weekly blood work to check for toxicity. I am thankful that he is tolerating it well. It is a balance, however, because control of psychiatric symptoms can come at the expense of mental acuity and cognitive function. For the most part Ben is joyful and calm. Psychiatric medications help make this possible.

Cognitive function continues to be a problem for Ben. He often gets stuck in a rut, not able to move forward. It may be a hyper focus on doing his laundry, an upcoming event or visit or a desired outing. In addition to poor memory, he cannot reason well or process steps to a goal. On Super Bowl Sunday, he kept texting us to ask that Dad come over to watch the game. Walking him through the reasons why Jim couldn't come from Texas in 30 minutes didn't matter. Ben would just ask the same question again 5 minutes later. He asks me daily if I will take him to church, mostly when church isn't in session and when I am in Houston. To compensate I have started Ben with a journal and am asking him to write down the requests and answers to questions as well as noting dates to upcoming events. He does understand that he can't remember information and in order to move ahead with his life, he must find a way to compensate. Journaling may help. I believe that living a more active life would help Ben as well. Although there are outings planned for Ben each weak (bowling, going to the gym) currently the activities are not daily and are not enough to promote mental, physical, and social development. I am praying for opportunity and activity.....daily. Ben desperately needs it.

Balance, coordination and strength have also been adversely affected by the seizures. Ben is more likely  to be off balance than before. His gait is shuffling and uneven. After a walk along the lake in his neighborhood, he tired quickly and even fell getting into the car. Thankfully Ben has not needed his wheelchair for about 9 months, which is a blessing. He remains hearing impaired and I am working on getting hearing aides, at Ben's request.

I am grateful for progress made. I am grateful for Ben's life. God is working on Ben and God is working on me. God has opened doors to living situations and care for Ben that are nothing short of miraculous over and over again and I know more good things are coming. For every one of the concerns listed, I see God's hand working. In spite of it all, I am joyful and full of praise. It will be good!

Addendum: I wrote this update on the way to visit Ben’s brother who lives in Wyoming. While waiting for my connecting flight, I was called about new possibilities that will change Ben’s life immeasurable for the better. Exactly what he needs. Once again I am in awe about how God cares for us. It is so good!