Hello friends. Much has happened since my last update. Ben's progress in recovery has improved in several ways, but Jim and I have been faced with many challenges in obtaining good care for him over the last few weeks. First , the medication plan initiated at the Touchstone neurorecovery center seems to be working. Ben is less sedated, more verbal, and happier. His gait is much steadier, needing little support when out of the wheelchair. Jim and i were able to take him on his first car trip outing; lunch at Sonic and a short shopping trip to Academy. Ben's comments,"It's fun. It's radiant, you know? I get to go to Sonic and order from the regular menu. I feel anticipated about that!". He followed up with, "Do we need gas yet? I'll put gas in the tank because my dad deserves it."

Hello everyone. Thanks for continuing to follow Ben's updates. In the past few weeks Ben has had several medication adjustments. We are starting to see improved behaviors. We are starting to see Ben's joy return. It isn't as often as I would like, but better. I have had to step back recently to count the blessings that we have TODAY instead of continually striving for tomorrow.

Benjamin is still residing at the neurorecovery center. Horticulture has been added to Ben's schedule. It is much more interesting than the classroom based activities which constitute most of Ben's day. Ben receives group therapy in memory, social skills, relaxation, and leisure in the classroom, but the time spent indoors has decreased. This is good and hopefully will tap into Ben's interests. Faye, the master gardener, who has been running the program for over 9 years is amazing. I have had much encouragement from her thoughts and observations of Ben and other's she has worked with in her many years of using plants to reach patients with traumatic brain injury. Her greenhouse is beautiful. Christian music blaring, helping the plants and the patients "bloom".
Benjamin has been dealing with the same issues as mentioned in previous updates. He has good days and bad. Impulsive behaviors and improper verbiage is still occurring, although less often. Ben still has significant problems with memory, attention, and language processing. I still hear amazing "flickers" from time to time...my Ben is THERE. Yesterday, after misbehaving, Ben sighed, looked at me and said,''I really don't want to be a Dufus". He hates to upset me and says thoughtful things often to the staff. Medications have not helped much. When the behavior improves, the memory worsens and sedation increases. I told the doctors to stop a medicine yesterday for another adverse reaction. Please pray for Ben's doctor to have wisdom with the next plan.
The battle to enrich Ben's world continues. When Ben was denied speech therapy and occupational therapy (He still receives physical therapy) because the professionals deemed it of little value for him, it was tough. Jim and I met the issue directly, but i still was frustrated, even angry. My devotional one day stated, "If our goals are blocked, we become angry. If we perceive our goals as impossible, we become depressed. The heart of depression is hopelessness. Can any God-given goal be blocked?" The answer is NO! God's hand has been in Ben's life from the beginning. My solutions may not be God's solutions so I have ceased that struggle. Instead, with friends, we have planted a garden, started bringing Ben's dog to the home, personalized flashcards for him working on memory, started using iPad programs for language retrieval and added as many activities as we can think of. The professional who makes therapy decisions has chosen 3 of the suggested areas to concentrate on in Ben's official therapy.This is progress. I also have full confidence that Ben's medications will be adjusted properly by his doctor. Please pray for Ben in this battle for his mind"s healing. Remembering how far we have come.......Ben could have had a far worse outcome. He talks. He smiles. He loves his family. He remembers much. Ben is also not finished improving. Look at the amazing photographs.

Hello everyone. Lots of new things have happened in Ben's life since my last update. As we settle into this new phase of recovery, the ups and downs experienced from week to week have become the norm. Because Ben is 9 months into his recovery period and he still has not recovered from post injury amnesia, his prognosis for long term functional recovery is guarded. Ben has good days and bad. He will be social and charming, eager to please and learn, only to be followed by extreme oppositional behavior accompanied by inappropriate language when faced with the smallest frustration. He simply can't remember what he has learned and the distractibility he exhibits requires constant redirection. Because of this, his doctor has reduced traditional therapies and is focusing on the classroom based cognitive interventions and home based activities. Benjamin still receives traditional physical therapy and walks often with the staff in-between sessions.
Ben's medications continue to be a struggle. I have had many "doctor mom" moments of extreme frustration with the medications that he has been on. Waiting on the effectiveness of psychiatric medications takes a long time, however there SHOULD be evidence along the way that the choice is a correct one. Finally, a blessing in disguise occurred last Saturday when Ben had to be given an injectable medication for sustained inappropriate verbal behavior. This medication is an old one, used for mood. It should have "zonked' him. To my surprise when I went into his room, Ben was happy, easily redirected, conversant and compliant. I emailed his doctor and said "LETS TRY THIS ONE". I am not sure that you can shout in an email, but I sure tried. Ben started the new medication yesterday and the old one (that I hate) is going away. Please pray for Ben's mood and behavior. His "joy" is still there, but I see less of it. Behavior is the major obstacle to Ben rejoining us in activities outside the neurorecovery center. As traditional therapies are deemed useless for Ben, I believe that moving into new areas of stimulation for him is key to improvement. There are other programs available to Benjamin if this "mountain" can be moved.
I spent all morning with Ben yesterday. We walked the beautiful campus, including the on campus greenhouse in our tour. Ben was interested in the plants and spent time looking at all the varieties cared for there. I still see "flickers" of self awareness. When I firmly told him to alter an observed behavior, he looked at me as said, "Mom, I want to straighten up. I don't want to be like this". It was a fleeting moment. I needed to see that Ben knows what he needs to do even though the damage in the reasoning part of his brain keeps it from happening consistently.
I have reread notes written at the beginning of this faith journey. Nehemiah 9:19 says,"You in Your great mercy forsook them not in the wilderness: the pillar of cloud departed not from them by day to lead them in the way, nor the pillar of fire by night to light the way they should go". i have had to move into a new way of thinking with Ben's recovery. If memory and behavior issues are moving him toward more "home based" interventions, perhaps I should augment this instead of fighting it. Yesterday a friend gave me a large planter, sturdy enough to stand next to. Ben and I are going to grow things at his house. I am praying for new ideas. I am praying that the medications will improve his mood. I am praying for attention and memory.
I have added pictures from Ben's 24th birthday party. It was a special time with family and friends. He loved every minute of it. Ben is still a miracle. God is working. It will be good.

Benjamin remains in treatment at the neurorecovery center. He continues in cognitive therapy for brain function and memory, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. The difficulties involve balancing Ben's medications to optimize his brain function. With medications that improve his initiation and attention, we often dealt with unacceptable behaviors. With medications for mood, he is more sedated and participation isn't optimal. Ben had a rough day Friday. I spent 5 hours with him on Saturday. Although he started down the path of unacceptable speech a few times, the episodes were short and aborted quickly. It is encouraging to me in the midst of the "mess". I watched his face. It is easy to see what will be about to trigger an unacceptable response. Timing of a question of how he wants something done or identifying that he is about to be asked to do something he doesn't like minimized the bad behavior. Distraction is also helpful. Ben's brain is moving.....changing, learning. It isn't fast, but change means HOPE.
Ben's walking is improving. He is becoming more independent in his personal care. He loves visitors. He loves his family. Ben has frequent moments of clarity. I was speaking with Ben about how he should ask God to help him stop the behaviors that do not reflect HIM to the world. Ben is trying. He said, " I heard it from you and it stuck with my heart". He looked at a staff member and remarked, "My mom isn't happy and that makes me sad." Ben knows what he needs to do. He is battling himself. Please pray for this battle to be won. Ben's doctor needs wisdom. Ben needs a renewed mind. Thanks everyone.

Dear Friends, Ben is still receiving treatment at the neurorecovery center. He is showing slow, steady progress, although there are remaining significant impairments. Ben is walking more and more. I am seeing "flickers' of a returning sense of humor. His memory for events, both recent and in the past, is unpredictable. The blessing is the periods of clarity that occur here and there. Ben was looking at the scar from his tracheostomy, (the opening in his neck used for breathing in the intensive care unit), in the mirror last evening. I saw a bit of vanity as he gazed at the healed incision. He said, "look at this...It's a burn." I replied, "No, Ben, it was from the breathing tube". Ben quickly told me he didn't want to think about it. It was a flicker of recognition/memory. Dr. Cassidy tells me that remembering would be a good sign. Dr. Cassidy is still adjusting medications.The challenge is keeping his temper even, reducing impulsivity, increasing attention span without sedation or overactivity.
Ben is more alert and able to participate in games, puzzles, and activities. His remarks can be inappropriate at times because of the damage in the right frontal lobe area of his brain. It is important for me to remember that even though the positive changes that I see are small and SLOW, (slow is tough for me) , the changes show that Ben's brain is still changing.....healing. Neuroplasticity is the ability of undamaged parts of the brain to take over for the damaged areas. Research shows that most of the recovery from traumatic brain is within the first 6 months. What I am seeing doesn't reflect this statistic. Ben's injury was 8 months ago. His youth will help beat the odds. Prayer will help beat the odds. God isn't finished with him yet.
I visited the neurorecovery center Monday evening with Alex, a young friend who played youth hockey with Ben. Ben was happy to see us. The love he has for family lights up his face at every visit. He definitely wants something more......to be a part of the outside world again. I believe this will happen. We walked around the house. We walked outside. He stood alone for a long time. When I asked him to tell me one thing he prayed for today, Ben said,"mood stabilization". It blew me away. He knows. Please keep Ben in your prayers.

Hello everyone. I know it has been several weeks since the last update. Brain injury recovery in this post acute stage, tends to be slow and steady. Benjamin's progress has had it's ups and downs in the last few weeks. He is more alert and active. We have noticed increasing participation in the activities we bring to the neurorecovery center. Last week I brought a game similar to Bingo to play with Ben. (Zingo) Ben and another resident (who has no intelligible speech) played several games. It was loads of fun. We have also found several iPad programs that work on associations, reading and reasoning. Ben is performing much better than two weeks ago . He is often quick with his responses and very engaged. Ben is also walking much more with very little help. His doctor continues to make adjustments to his medication. As medications are decreased to improve alertness and memory, we often see short burst of inappropriate behavior. This is the stuff I hate. It isn't Ben, just the inability to inhibit poor responses or tolerate even the smallest frustration. I am praying that the medications can be adjusted appropriately. I do feel that this would be the time for a new choice.
I wish the progress was faster. The one thing I have learned through all of this ....God's timing is better. As the impatience mounts, I still get "flickers' of God's hand in the midst of the mess. I watched a video tape taken by a friend when I was with Ben one afternoon. I asked Ben one thing that he prays for. Ben said, "I pray for my life." My friend asked Ben if God answers. Ben said," I feel like he does, but not extremely closely. He is making things known and taking care of stuff." Please pray that God fills Ben with His Spirit. Please pray for the healing to continue. Hope continues. (confident expectation).