I visited Benjamin a week ago. Followers of the blog may recall that he was admitted to a neurorecovery facility in Tulsa, OK at the beginning of the summer. Unexpected provision allowed Ben a new chance at life and Jim and I were grateful for the opportunity. The facility has been a blessing with a blend of mental health and brain injury behavioral support, tailor made for Ben's needs. Ben's psychiatrist is a committed Christian who is prayerfully walking medical decisions. Ben is on new medications. I continue to hope these medicatons help mental clarity, memory and decision making. There has been progress over the summer, but it has been painstakingly slow. The discharge plan that was in place for Ben's next step was not going to work. Jim and I were faced once again with a dead end. I felt compelled to travel to Tulsa to tackle these issues head on and scheduled a meeting with Ben's multiple caregivers face to face. My old friends, hopelessness and dread, were present in full force. How many times have I been down this road? Almost too many to count. I prayed for answers and peace. For days leading up to the meeting, I felt God's reassurance, but all my human mind could see was the dead end.

Yesterday I met Benjamin at his new neurorecovery center in Oklahoma. It was a great day.  Ben and I went through the admission process together with smiles on our faces. After 7 months in a Colorado medical hospital with little or no outside activity, Ben was excited and happy. He was driven there by car and  he enjoyed every moment of being on the road. The events leading up to this unexpected chance at recovery are miraculous and many. Ben had been rejected by every discharge option for care in the entire state of Colorado. As a family, we were not in a good place. Confinement to a general hospital room was causing psychiatric and medical problems and we were powerless to move forward with Ben's care in any way. It was a place of waiting and if you have read any of my blogposts in the past....waiting is not what I do well. Exodus 14:14 says "The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest." Moses tells this to the Israelites when the Egyptians are bearing down on them by the Red Sea. God fights for his people. I believe the sequence of events leading up to this recover opportunity is a sign of God fighting  for Ben when there seemed to be little hope.

Jim is in Colorado visiting Benjamin this weekend. Ben has been in the hospital for 89 days. Initial admission was for a minor surgery to repair his brain shunt. The distal tube draining in his abdomen was up against the bowel.. easily fixed. The behavioral hospital where he was recovering took the opportunity to refuse to take him back, reasoning that Ben is too medically complicated to be readmitted. He is medically stable at this time.  Benjamin's brain function, however,  has not recovered since the incident in July when an inappropriate discharge from a different hospital after brain surgery resulted in four days of continual seizures. All of Ben's medications were inexplicably and abruptly stopped as a result of this disastrous discharge. Status epilepticus was the direct result. As mentioned in my previous post, the seizures stole much of Ben's progress made since his brain injury in 2012. Although Ben has not recovered, he is making some progress. He does not need his wheelchair. He can handle self care and calls us on the phone often. He listens to his CD collection and watches movies and sports. Ben's memory is severely damaged. He doesn't know where he is most of the time and his behaviors have been worrisomely aggressive. We are back at the beginning, a "do over", like Ground Hog Day.  I have had a few rough moments looking at the picture in front of us. At this time there are no discharge options for Ben's care and he cannot be cared for at home.